That’s it for season two! We’re out of the weeds and about to embark on a bold new journey into the heart of The Next Generation. In this episode I give my general thoughts about season two, what worked and what didn’t. I also give out a few awards and list the five best and worst episodes of the season.
It’s the Star Trek Clip Show! When Commander Riker is cut by an alien plant, he goes into a coma and can only be revived by watching clips from a 1980s genre television program! A “bottle” episode designed to save Paramount some money, “Shades of Gray” is generally considered to be a terrible episode. But is it?
Have you ever fought someone who had 6 inches and 50 pounds on you? Have you ever played Laser Tag? Have you ever played a RTS game over the internet? If you’ve done any of these things, then you’ll probably enjoy “Peak Performance”, which is Star Trek’s version of them! Plus, one of the worst line readings in the entire series!
We haven’t learned anything about the mating rituals of Klingons in over two weeks, it’s time that we’re due for a little of that, right? Fortunately, a Federation Emissary visits the Enterprise to stop a renegade Klingon sleeper ship, and Worf gets to do the nasty, one growl at a time! It’s a spicy meatgagh!
Man. The most dangerous prey. Some say that the “Manhunt”, to hunt and kill another man, is the ultimate test of a hunters’ prowess, a way to satiate the soul of the beast that resides in the heart of every man alive. A way to — wait, what? This is an episode about alien menopause? And it’s a comedy? And it features Lwaxana Troi? Oh boy.
The Irish need not apply for this episode! You’ll do a double take! When Space Irish take control of one of the Enterprise’s shuttle bays, they do completely un-stereotypical things. On another planet, we learn that Riker hates clones and is willing to kill for what he believes. This description is 75% accurate!
If you want a podcast to “make you go”, then this is the one for you! When Picard needs a new heart, Riker is stuck dealing with an alien race of questionable intelligence. When they take Geordi hostage, only the stupidest of decisions will get him free! Oh boy. Maybe you should just go back and watch “Q Who” again?
Hey, look! It’s the first great episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation! Even the flawed narrative structure can’t ruin the introduction of the Borg! I assimilate Clay and Sean, and together we use our hive mind to break down how the Borg originally appeared, Worf’s clever delegation of duty, and how this is the first time that Trek would utilize a god-like being in a way that actually results in powerful dramatic arc. System J-25, comin’ ‘atcha!
In this episode, Data makes a friend! And Wesley learns how to tell someone to go screw. It’s a time of personal growth for everyone. We also get to debate the merits of the Prime Directive, extensive alien make-up, and the downside of having a planet made of dilithium. Sit down, write a letter, and enjoy “Pen Pals”!
Star Trek: The Next Generation becomes a soap opera when Commander Riker’s scumbag father visits the Enterprise. I guess I’m being too hard on him. He did give Riker 13 years and his wife died, ya know. Plus, he snagged that wonderful Dr. Pulaski! He can’t be all that bad. Or can he? Anyway, Wesley bugs the hell out of Worf and something is wrong with the ship’s computer. And there is blind samurai-karate-sword fighting. Yeah.
Double the action! Double the fun! It’s double mint, double mint… gum! When the Enterprise discovers a Picard doppleganger from six hours in the near future, the crew must figure out a way to avoid catastrophe! They also try to figure out what made the captain such a scaredy-cat that he would run off on his own and leave everyone else behind! Oh, and Picard dies. So much death in this second season!
This is the holodeck, taken to the next level! When the Enterprise discovers some debris from a NASA spaceship, it leads down a rabbit hole of blackjack, desk clerks, and mobsters named “Micky”. This is an episode that has figured out how to avoid the pitfalls of the typical holodeck adventure: don’t go on the holodeck, and use a terrible novel as the basis for the plot!
Ctrl+Alt+Delete. When the Enterprise enters the Neutral Zone and observes the destruction of the USS Yamato, it becomes a race against the clock to find out what happened before the same circumstance befalls another ship! Plus, Riker wants to throw rocks and Data dies! So much action! So much feels!
Dauphin? Do-phan? La Dauphine? However you pronounce it, it means “love”! Or “dolphin”. Or something. When young Wesley Crusher falls for a shape shifting peace maker, hormones start raging and Riker starts a-flirtin’! Seriously though, not much else happens here. I guess the only other fact worth mentioning is that Worf will certainly smack down an old lady if given the chance.
To be a machine, or not to be a machine. That is the question. We all know that Data is “fully functional”, but is that also the case in the eyes of the law? When a driven officer shows up on the Enterprise and demands to dissect Data, Picard must pull off his best Matlock impersonation to save his android officer! Plus, Riker gets shoe-horned into the plot!
The Klingons are back, and this time they’ve brought some space germs with them! When Commander Riker accepts a temporary transfer to a Klingon ship, he learns the importance of laughter, Klingon threesomes and how to take a punch. Seriously, though, this episode is something of a turning point in the series: it’s unabashedly good!
Our first Pulaski-centric episode! Our chief medical officer (at least for season two) takes the reins for an episode that involves genetic engineering, advanced aging, and difficult decisions (made badly)! Is Pulaski really that bad? Is she just Crusher with a slightly grumpier demeanor? Why did they make these genetically engineered children telepathic? We answer all this, and more, in this episode of the podcast!
Data can chew scenery and kick Picard’s ass, and he’s all out of scenery. When a mad scientist inputs his mind into Data’s body, the sneering Data-Graves monster wanders the ship subtly insulting everyone. The horror!
When a mute mediator tries to settle a dispute on an alien planet, he forgets to give his telepathic chorus of assistants laser-proof vests and learns a valuable lesson! Featuring some wooden romance, a rare case of an overacting Patrick Stewart and Data talking about moon lit walks on the beach, “Loud as a Whisper” isn’t even all that bad!
Despite his clothing and ponytail, Captain Okona is a man of such sexual prowess that few have the power to resist his advances. When a 24th century space hunk boards the Enterprise, he leaves in his wake a trail of mangled bodies of those he has so brutally loved. When Data tries to learn comedy, he leaves in his wake a trail of cringing grimaces and horrible impersonations. This episode is outrageous!
To 221 Baker Street! When Data proves to be too much for the deductive challenges of the original Sherlock Holmes mysteries, the computer creates an opponent that is fitting of a 24th century android. The end result is an episode steeped in costumes, British accents, and the philosophical question of what it means to be alive. The game is afoot!
What do you get when you combine a random line from a poem about gold mining and the concept of nothingness? Apparently, you get this episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation. When the crew is subjected to a cruel experiment by a strange god-like being, we find out that Klingon exercise programs get you really fired up, doctors hate androids, and that you should never be the person to take over for Wesley Crusher!
Season Two starts with a bang! Well, it’s a sexy bang, actually, that results in Troi getting knocked up by an alien! One of the weirdest episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation involves a mystery baby, a mystery bartender, and a mystery vaccine that may or may not work. But, at least Riker has his beard now! Beard me up, Scotty!